Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Opere Et Viritate

One thing I loved about philosophy is contemplating the "concept of being." Not the whole "I think, therefore I am" ordeal, but things like experience; Do we really experience things through sensory and perception, or is it that we actually think we do? Or something along those lines. If that made no sense, which if you read my blog more than periodically, think of it this way. What if our physical bodies are just that; orifices to enable us to manifest a physical presence on this earth? We are bound to things such as gravity, fatigue, and going as far as fear, because we are physically bound to this earth and a fear of losing that tie limits us to things that are free, yet not so far as to free us from this body; and to ponder outside this realm. ???? I know. Think of it like this; A skydiver endulges in the act because of its sense of freedom, unbound to anything, to be able to flip and to frollick in that thing we know as the wild blue yonder. Then again, only to be snapped back into reality, in fear of losing his "life," or his physical being. Think of us as skydivers, all with the will to roam free. But we are tied to our fears, i.e. our parachutes, in order to remain "alive," or physically present in this world. It is human nature to be free, unbound by anything, naive to laws, theories and science, unawares of why this and why that. This goes back to the infamous Garden of Eden. Likewise, it has become that humans, just as they are curious, they are fearful of what dwells beyond such curiousity. HowI yearn to leap from that roof, to take flight; but "knowing" of its dreadful outcome, to fear gravity, to lose that physical tie to this real world. WHY? We all know that 100 times out of 100, If I jump, I will fall. But nevertheless, I still want to. Likewise, how do we know what will happen? No one can see the future, thus no one knows the outcome. And even more so, you would want to jump just as I would. How do I know? because it is our nature. To be free of all inhibitions for just that moment, to do potentially exponential amounts of frontflips and backflips, etc; that is, until we come back to what keeps us from doing so, hitting the ground and "dying." Death? What if it is the becoming of actual life? Freedom from pain, sorrow, and the things we can feel in this physical realm? Noty bound to a body, in which wants to jump, but can't. That, my friend, I guess is what we all ponder. We fear the "end," but alas, is it really so? We do not know, and what we do not know, we as humans fear. and "DEATH," being a loathsome and sick creature, sits atop the fence between this life and the next; He knows of the other side. He beckons some, breathing lies of things better in the beyond. But indeed,

are they lies?

Henceforth, shall I jump? Nay, we know what our fates will be, persay....

"In action, and in truth"

Is how we all shall fly away.

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

Tentanda Via

I haven't written in awhile, I always tend not to write when I am enjoying life, sad to say. Though life could be better, I am writing today because honestly I miss it, and want this area in my life to be more apparent. My writing to me is so many things; in ways it is me. It is the portal into the desires of my heart, yet the cherubim that gaurds it. It is the shield that wards away the demons, but also the sword that vanquishes my foes. That being said, with writing being so many things to me, my life seems to cycle around because all these things are not apparent. My heart becomes cold and hard because I do not channel my desires, and with a cold heart I beckon demons, both new and old; in which without writing, I would have no shield to ward them off. With my enemies surrounding me, and my weapon not even drawn, it is not a wonder that I am wounded by that which knows my qualms so well. The battle may not be lost, but to fight without my weapon is to fight long and hard; and to develop many scars along the way. Would I have been vigilant, I could have saved face, in a lot of cases.
But should I remain on the offensive? Should I express myself through writing, only to have it viewed as venting and whining by some, thus it not being heard. One of my fears is to speak and not to be heard. To not have a voice, to feel helpless. I am stuck it feels with two options, to do the former, and to develop these scars; or to talk and to talk and to talk, thus be seen as the one who cries wolf. And just as the story goes, I will be unheard when it shall matter the most. The former has been tried, and been found wanting. Thus shall we try the latter?

"Tentanda Via"

"The way must be tried"
as I know no other.

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Aliquid Stat Pro Aliquo

One of my dearest friends once said something that could ultimately make or break your life. "You either stand for something or you fall for nothing." One thing I hate in this world is a fool. Not fool, as merriam webster would define it; but the fools, or foolery to be more exact, that abound in our world today. Who's to blame. Blame society, blame television, blame your parents, take the easy way out and blame dishonorable George W Bush even, just remember as you are howling "heretic" and pointing fingures how foolish you look for not taking responsibility for yourself. You yourself, for being part in such things. Myself included, I am not void of niavity every now and again. There are so many things that can be accomplished by speaking of things in which you have no knowledge about. About people, about society, about democracy, about yourself. All in the order of that which I feel is the most foolish. Take this for example. You have one of your associates and they say something about someone you know along the lines of "Oh, he does (insert behavior A) because his (insert cause 1 for behavior A) and (insert cause 2 for behavior A). It's so sad knowing that he (insert behavior B) because of (insert outlandish cause for behavior B). Absolutely outrageous. How do you know the purpose of something someone says, does, are the causes of their actions if ultimately you are not them? How can you say that you understand why this is happening in the world if you have no idea what goes on inside your own home even? How can you know the solution to someone else's issue when you have millions of issues of your own that you can't solve not one of them? RIDICULOUS. Even if you got this info from the person you are speaking of, I am sure that that person disclosed to you this info because they opened up and trusted you, and you gave up that trust by doing such a thing. Why ruin a bond you have with someone who generally cares for you enough that they would tell you what causes them dismay; and/or why lie and spread rumors about them just to make yourself look better. Like I said, ultimately only that person knows why they are the way they are; and sometimes even you don't know yourself. It is a sad thing to see people who are grown and educated and sophisticated revert back to "those high school days" in which everyone would try to get a head up on anyone else by any means possible. I feel its safe to say that these people revert to these ways for a reason, as I think that these type of people will stay fools for the entirety of their lives. Why fall for the world that is cold and hard and will chew you up and use you until you are spent and helpless and spit you out like used gum? LIVE YOUR LIFE, don't tread and worry about someone else's. Talking about others, wondering if others are talking about you, talking to others asking who is saying what about you when in reality when you leave, it is safe to say that they are. Fall for this system that has done nothing for you or stand for yourself and make yourself be known as a person oh higher integrity and greater character.

"aliquid stat pro aliquo"

"either stand for something"
or fall gracelessly from nothing.

Sunday, June 15, 2008

veritas vos liberabit

I know I haven't written in a while, it's been a crazy year so far. However, no excuses; let's get down to business.and thanks for the little extra push ;)


In the light of father's day, I came to realize something, nothing extraordinary mind you, but it has always been a hastle in my life. I have always been one to say that you look more like a fool when you claim to know something you have little or no understanding of, moreso than a fool I\d say. Claiming such knowledge that you do not possess is not only a generally ludicrious act, but discredits you as a human being of respect and integrity. What in the name of your higher power (as Oprah would say) does this have to do with father\s day you ask? A lot of things. Lets also say that this is a precursor to the next series of writings to which I am in the process of writting now, generally about the same broad perspective. Now, what I've been poking at comes out into the open. Every father's day, me, always being bored out of my mind on sundays, thinks of calling a few friends and wanting to hang out. It being father's day, they are with their families and generally wanting to know why I am not doing the same. As usual, I tell them that I have never had an actual father figure, he left when I was young. Mind you, I have never ever felt sad about this; he never did anything for us (me and my mom), so i've always been the man. They get into sympathy mode and say something along the lines of "Aw, thats sad. I know how you feel...
....
...
No, you don't.Not being rude or anything, but you know this has happened to you as well. Myself, in this case, asks this person; how do you know how i feel if your parents are alive and kicking? Not even the half of it. Forget the nights I spent hungry so i could get to school, the days I had to sleep in a hot room b/c the air conditioning is broken, the times I was afraid to go to the hospital because I know we didn't have any insurance nor money to pay for services. Forget that, I am setting up a sob story; but the exact opposite. I am not even complaining, I personally don't care all that much. but think about yourself; and no matter what you do have and are going through, their are people with a lot less going through a lot more. Don't tell that drug addict coming off four years of a cocaine addiction that you know how they feel if you don't even sip wine at the communion at church. Don't tell the person who's lost a parent that you know what they are going through if your mom and dad are in their late 30s and your grandparents do roller derby on the weekends. Quite simply, you don't; you just don't. Offer your care, offer anything but do not say you understand something you are totally oblivious of. You may ask; how are those two things different? Simple; one is fake and a lie, the other is 100% geniune and sincere. People have forgotten the value and how it changes the gravity to a situation when a hug is offered, a shoulder is presented in which to allow leaning. Then again, nothing says I feel for you, I hurt with you than a tear shed with a friend. STOP DOING WHAT SOCIETY HAS TRAINED YOU TO DO. By Doing so, Stop claiming knowledge you do not possess;

"veritas vos liberabit"
and the truth will set you free.

Thursday, March 13, 2008

Lege et lacrima

in a hundred years, who will remember who i am?

tis a shame that no one will.
though i spend a lot of time thinking about it;
what are the real odds that i am remembered?
i honestly don't know, but in a strange way it drives me to do great things...in a strange way it shows me how i am destined to be remembered; the fact that i refuse to accept the impossible and take on inevitability as a jest shows that i dare not be trifled with. Some people spend there whole life thinking about doing something great, and often never achieve anything close. But through time and words and faith and hardship and maybe just a little bit of luck, I know i am destined for greatness. this is something i wrote a while back, and i just re-read it, and was like wow; did i really write this? take a look. its how i feel about myself and certain things in my life.

Nehemiah Bolton.
in a world where so many things are warped and the lies and truths are one in the same, who can you believe in? yourself above all, and above all, believe in yourself. so many things i can say about myself even would be but half truths and relative only to what i think and others believe; for you to experience me is but a journey all on its own. just like with anything,the journey is different for everyone. just like school, love, even life; nehemiah bolton is but a plane of existence one must tread on their own. i am all that i say i am, and i am all that you have heard; nay, yet i am so much more. from the words that i speak to the actions i commit, i can change lives, i can change worlds; i can change your world. broadening the aspects of human thought and understanding, i am so much more than a simple sum of adjectives and nouns, much more than an anthology of past experiences or even the consequences of my own decisions. just as you, i am a person; but just as you, or maybe not, i am destined for greatness. as i talk in similes and complex metaphor, i assure you, i talk and i dream of something more....

i think i am destined for greatness.
i know i am destined for greatness.
i am great.
i am nehemiah bolton.

"Lege et lacrima"
read it and weep.

Monday, March 3, 2008

Ab Hinc; Ad Idem

Ha ha,
sometimes you would swear that i could major in latin.
anyways, if you do read you know i haven't written in a while....
its for a reason. i decided that writting everyday isn't what I set out to do; though it is what id like to do, as in write something profound day after day after day; its not going to happen. So I will only be writting you when i have something good to say. something that means something to me; something that i want to write down for myself and never forget. I forgot how much i hated seeing things by people who wrote everyday, but all in all said nothing of worth. So though I may not write everyday, I am always here; always thinking of things. Ocasionally, you will hear about my thoughts.

like today

recently i thought about how my life is at a healthy median in which work and play is devied out in a fashion that i am extremely happy with. In my life, I am always content; and 95% of the time i am happy; but this past week it has been to such extremities that i wonder what has changed about my life. Its true, i've been a little slack with my classes, but that will happen every now and then and i will straighten up after break; but despite the upcoming stress and the business of thinking about my plans for next year I am oh so happy with my life and who I am. I wish that every week in my life would be like this. With college, this could be simple; besides exam weeks and finals weeks i can make all of them similar to this. But again, life scares me. what if i dont have those weeks that make me feel this way after I graduate? This week made me feel like everything i was doing was for a reason, multiple things that just proved that i am me and i am here for a reason. what if graduation and graduate life and work and et cetera aren't like that? I hope that everything i do in life makes me happy, no matter whether it be work or anything else. I hope that I have a family that loves me just as i love them, children who aspire to be better than i ever thought of being. i hope that my job is FUN, yes fun, the work being worth it with all the fun i have. I hope that with my job i can support my family, and even though my wife is more than welcome to work, I hope that if she wants to be a stay at home mom my job will support it. I no longer want to be rich. I still do want that dream house, and that turns heads in more ways than one, but i am sure that i can get those things with a five digit salary instead of a six. Continuing, I want to keep the people I have in my life around for as long as I can. I know, bff is overused and played out. but at this time in my life, im not looking for friends, im looking for life companions and future people i can go to if i ever needed anything. acquaintances are cool and all; they add to the bodies at parties and such. but remember that who i am is not about who and how many people are at my parties, its about who is there for me when i struggle, because those people are apart of me. I never forget that time in my life when all i had was myself; my friends were literally non existant, and my family was so distant that all i could rely on was myself. that is why i feel that i deserve better; through hard work and dedication to the philosophy of care for others more than self, I know what i want in life. happiness for myself, and above that; for the people in my life and those i come in contact with daily. to see a smile on someone's face is worth all that "in one ear and out the other" stuff i see in so many people's lives i come in contact with. Sure, everyone wants to be happy in life. but they want it in the wrong ways; usually money or fast cars or fast women(or men, but you get the picture). these things are like drugs, you experience it, you like it, you go without it, you crash, you want more, you develop a tolerance, you want even more.....just like with drugs, eventually its a dead end in all cases (see "facilius per...", JAN2008) long story short; (for the people who won't click the link) the women(as well as yourself) get slower and uglier with age, the car gets a newer model and had to be tossed away(and eventually you realize your arthritis cant bear speeds over 60mph), and money isn't much good when you are in an assisted living home. In the end, if you pursued those things, what do you have? NOTHING. and i will not have nothing, i will have everything. I will have friends and a wife to sit by and play bingo and listen to vintage colbie caillat and some og rap by ludacris (note this will be like....2068), and kids who will be doctors or models or athletes....or all of the above. Then my investments will all be worth it; my investments of time and care and love rather than other things.

But will I have that? I am afraid. I know how to get it. But will I keep on the path to obtain it?

from here on, your heart will here my heart;

"from here on, we are of the same mind...."

Thursday, February 7, 2008

A Contrario

One of my favorite classes last semester was philosophy, not only because it was at 125 everyday, but it is by far the most entertaining and insightful class i have ever taken......so far. anywho, this is something that I wrote about one of my favorite philosophers, Socrates, because it makes a strong claim for this thing called "innate knowledge; a philosophical claim that the mind is not a clean slate like john locke claims, but in actuallity is the continuation of knowledge gained in past lives. Though i do not believe in a past life so to speak, I do believe in the his claim. That being said, Socrates believed that through recollection, we already have all the knowledge we need, and clearly makes a strong claim for it in his conversation with Meno. So....

In “Meno,” Plato is having a conversation with Meno, a man he meets that is visiting Athens. Meno, knowing of Plato’s wisdom and intellect, asks Plato a few questions on virtue; on whether it is taught or we acquire it in some other fashion. Plato begins by saying that he is completely ignorant of any virtues(71b), and this frustrates Meno even more since his question has yet to be answered. After a rebuttal by Meno who tries to define what virtue is, Socrates then explains that one cannot know the qualities of any one thing without knowing it’s true form(71b). Meno becomes even more frustrated and claims that one cannot find something, I.e. this virtue, if he does not know what he is looking for(80d). Socrates then makes his main philosophical claim of the section, that knowledge is not acquired by us in this life, but is passed down through an immortal soul and that all we have to do as human beings is recollect this knowledge.
Socrates believed that the soul is immortal, and that through it’s past lives it has seen anything and everything that is part of this world and the next(81c). Therefore, we never learn anything, we just recollect the knowledge that our soul already posses. This knowledge, this innate knowledge; is where we acquire the knowledge of virtue and good that we seek in the world. Socrates then to fortify his claim, uses one of Meno’s slaves to defend his claim. He calls forth one of Meno’s slaves and gives him a simple geometry problem. Eventually with Socrates encouragement, The boy arrives at the correct answers with little help(85a-d). Slaves then were often uneducated and knew little about the math and the arts, yet Socrates uses a slave boy to prove to Meno that knowledge and wisdom are recalled rather than learned.
Even in our own lives, Socrates shows us that we recollect knowledge more often than we are taught. With children, ethics are often recalled rather than instilled in them at a young age. A child does not learn how to lie, yet knows how to as well as knows it is wrong. The knowledge of good and evil is also demonstrated as innate, with something as simple as being afraid of the dark, a precursor for many things that involve wrongdoing. Certain fears demonstrate innate knowledge, such as a fear of heights or a fear of tight spaces, as they are hazardous and provide potential for injury. Once one arrives at the age that they can think more logically, this idea becomes even more prevalent. When you see something in the world, a certain event, you know it has a cause; though you do not understand why you understand that it does despite having no knowledge of the event. When you think even deeper, wondering about things like “Who am I, where did I come from;” you will also understand that you were created by someone or something in the beginning, though you have virtually no knowledge of any certain omniscient figure.
Through looking at Socrates’ example with the slave boy as well as examining our own lives, we can see clear examples of knowledge being recollected rather than taught. As he describes to Meno the philosophical concept of knowledge recalled rather than learned, you can’t help but to think of all the things in one’s own life that this concept applies: ethics, fear, knowledge of a greater being, et cetera. Meno in the end cannot grasp the fact that we can learn something we have no idea exists, so Socrates makes the claim that is true to all philosophers; “We all will be better men who search for things he does not know, rather than he who doesn’t search for the things he has no hope in finding(86c).” As we are all beings containing this immortal soul, according to Socrates, we are all able to acquire knowledge of anything, as long as we have a soul we are able to recall such knowledge; the concept of an innate knowledge.

"from a contrary opinion"